The first entry goes something like this. At 41 I have come to the end of what I believed to be my truth. Enlightened people are not self centered, judgemental or greedy. The just are. I am not. I am somewhere between the All American Dream and Nirvana. The path is not clear, however, the suffering has stopped. The headaches are gone, the colds and flues have evaporated. My marriage is transforming, into what I do not know but I am hopeful. My kids are maturing faster than I imagined. Career has done a complete 180. What does this all mean? It means that the journey has begun. I am aware of the moments now, where as before I was concerned about the outcome. I allow others to be, without judgement, prejudice or contempt. This has created some friction, however, the end result is honest being. I have much to improve on. These are the goals but not the reality as of yet. I have learned that more energy is consumed on managing the suffering than being present.
I am a true believer in living language. The words that define us to the outside world. To define is not always bad. It gives us some level of restraint. I am a political independent. I am a true believer in the true meaning of sustainable. Not hugging a tree, but making everyday informed decisions to improve that in which we live. I have a conservative edge towards fiscal responsibility. I believe that the words liberal and conservative have been damned. There are many issues which bring out the suffering in us all, decisions are best made in the calm.
My interests are comparable to my Ipod. Much classical, true message rap, all classic rock with a hint of country, jazz and the blues. My wife is first, the girls are second and everything else as needed. I have been working in the contract interiors world for 12 years(cubicles, not sexy but that's what it is). I am proud of how I transformed my business relationships. I spoke with conviction and always tried to "Do the Right Thing". I learn that the world of business is beginning a transformation. It will mimic life. The days of huge profits, back door deals and slick sales are coming to an end. I am not saying it is today, tomorrow or 2 years from now, but the shift has begun. I have worked with Fortune 50 companies around the country. I have learned this, we waste more time, energy and resources on the ridiculous, that I am not surprised in the least we are where we are. We have moved away from character and towards worth.
So this is the beginning of now. Life will be made of a whole lot of nows. Where as 30 years ago people kept journal, now we have this. Whether it is read or not is not the cause. The cause is to be here. And that is where I am.